【softcore eroticism】

Have a friend who thinks their dog is softcore eroticisma star?

Well, your friend is right. All dogs were born to be celebrities. (If they don't want to be one, don't make them, though.) And this holiday season, you can get in on the ground floor of the fabled dog influencer journey by giving them a gift they'll actually use.

Operating a pet account that's actually successful (never mind profitable) requires a lot of work, quite a bit of luck, and maybe an agent, but aspiring stars will also need some supplies to get started. Want to help them with the basics? Consider a pretty backdrop or a pet selfie tool to set up their first few shots. More interested in something sort of unhinged but extremely memorable? Have we got the bright fuchsia dog bed for you.

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1. Festive holiday pajamas

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For a pet owner who wants to kick off their career while the holidays are still happening, a festive plaid pajama set (for dogs, in a variety of sizes) is a great choice. If you're truly committed, there are matching human pajamas available, too. Think of how deeply Pottery Barn you'll look in front of the tree.

Price: $10 at Target

2. A pet portrait tool

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All influencers need a little training. If the aspiring dogfluencer in your life has trouble looking at the camera, simply place a little treat in this clip-on accessory (it's called the Woofie) and wait for the inevitable eye contact to ensue. Please be sure to give them the treat after you snap the pic.

Price: $6.99 on Amazon

SEE ALSO: 7 gift subscriptions that give back

3. Fleur-de-lis dog bowl

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This absolutely unhinged dog bowl from a website called "Glamour Mutt" is a perfect fit for anyone who wants their dog to be French royalty. Is it a little expensive for a dog bowl? Yes. But French royalty would have spent more on their dog bowls, so this is actually a good deal.

Price: $39.99 on Glamour Mutt

4. Trendy dog toys

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BarkShop sells a variety of bizarre but highly Instagrammable dog toys, from a takeout container of dumplings to a delightful rainbow piñata plush. Our personal favorite is this thing called Monsieur Acorn, which appears to be a French acorn. (Pairs well with the fleur-de-lis bowl!)

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Price: $10 on BarkShop

5. Instax camera + film

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A very dogfluencer thing to do is to take photos of your dog with an instant camera, then take photos of those photos with your phone. This kit comes with a case, film, stickers, a selfie lens, and a bunch of other fun accessories.

Price: $99.95 on Amazon

6. The Dogist book

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Since 2013, @thedogist has shared impossibly cute mini-profiles of New York's canine companions on Instagram. The photographer, Elias Weiss Friedman, published a book in 2015, and it remains a must-have for anyone who believes that dogs and Instagram are a match made in heaven.

Price: $18.07 on Amazon

7. Fuchsia velvet dog bed

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OK, yes, this glamorous fuchsia velvet dog bed costs $291. But we had to have at least one item on this list that's completely off the rails. Plus it's from a dog-themed retailer called Bitch New York, so how could you go wrong?

Price: $291 at Bitch New York

8. Bubble pet carrier

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This bubble carrier is marketed for cats, but it could fit a small dog just as easily. We'd suggest using it for travel shots. You know, like, a person is facing away from the camera, looking back, with a weird little dog peering out from the bubble. Gorgeous!

Price: $37.99 on Amazon

9. Felt letter board

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A changeable felt letter board is the perfect surface for displaying incredibly corny dog puns alongside a famous pooch. Here's one idea: "Welcome to my paw-fice." Or how about "Thanks 'fur' the perfect gift!"

Price: $27.27

10. Pool float for dogs

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Influencers love pool floats. This one is puncture-resistant and has a soft upper layer to make it a little more comfortable for pups. Plus it's an adorable paw shape, which will really pop on the grid. It also flips over and turns into a drink holder for some reason? Whatever, we love versatility.

Price: $29.99 on Amazon

11. "My dog is Instafamous" T-shirt

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Nothing like speaking it into existence.

Price: $24.00 on Etsy

12. Tropical backdrop

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OK, this is not for dogs specifically, but wouldn't dogs look cute in front of this? Wearing Margaritaville outfits? With sunglasses on? And the photo has the caption "vacation mood?" It's just a suggestion.

Price: $7.99 at Party City

13. Starbucks gift card

You could do a Cheesecake Factory gift card, but it wouldn't make as much sense. Credit: Corbis via Getty Images

You might think a Starbucks gift card is the most boring gift imaginable, and you are right. But hear us out: It's also perfect for a dog/human influencer team. Why? Your human friend can pump their bodies with caffeine to fuel their high-intensity IG shoots, and their dog can get a puppuccino, which looks great in photos and vids. Win-win!

Price: Varies at Starbucks