【Jelena Jensen Archives】

There's no doubt,Jelena Jensen ArchivesStranger Things has some strange things.

But while we're anxiously counting down the minutes until Season 2 launches on Oct. 27, there are a lot of other strange things for you to enjoy in our very real, non-upsidedown world. And they are all just as strange -- if not stranger -- than the worst Demogorgon slime slug Netflix can provide.

So don't just sit around waiting for a streaming service to provide you with more strangeness. Be proactive: delight in the inexplicable wonders of our real world.

1. How my dryer's lint catcher cannot catch lint

Lint catchers have one job. Mine simply refuses. I've cleaned it. I've investigated. I've googled. But my lint catcher's refusal to catch lint remains one of the unexplained phenomenons I'll just have to live with, I guess. And, most likely, it will kill me one day.

2. Spontaneous Human Combustion

There are legit people exploding in the streets in real life, for no discernable reason. But yeah, I guess Barb's sweaters are weird too or whatever.

3. The oddly comforting smell of your dog's paw pads

Hey -- don't knock it till you've tried it. Seriously: grab your dog's paws (with his/her consent, of course), take a huge whiff, and try and tell me that the odd musk doesn't warm your heart.

4. Florida

Among its well-known human oddities, Florida is also home to perhaps the world's oddest mythical creature, known as The Skunk Ape (also known as Swampsquatch). It's basically Bigfoot, but it smells really bad. (Because Florida?)

SEE ALSO: 'Stranger Things' Season 2 was probably inspired by these movie classics

5. The United States' refusal to switch to the metric system

Look, we all understand there'd be a hard transition period. But the reasons for why we stick to this archaic, completely arbitrary measuring system (that doesn't even really have, like, an agreed upon name because it's so confused) basically amount to: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or, more accurately: Cuz 'Merica.

6. Pooping

Sounds simple, right? We all do it. It's the most common human experience. And yet the debates over howto poop are endless, divisive, and extremely strange. Why don't Americans use bidets? Why do Europeans all have bidets, but don't use them? At which end do you begin the wiping process -- front to back, back to front? Should we all poop standing up? Will pooping while sitting kill us all in our sleep? How often should we poop? What should normal, healthy poo look like?

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These are the mysteries the world may never truly solve. Or even wish to.

SEE ALSO: Little girl stops laughing about slime because she pooped

7. When the MTA is on time

It is common knowledge that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York City exclusively exists to ensure you cannot arrive anywhere on time. Or, if the subway gods are feeling generous, they only allow you to arrive on time when you are absolutely dreading the destination. On these rare, cosmic occasions, you witness the oddest phenomenon in all of NYC: the MTA having its shit together.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

8. The Boss Baby cinematic universe

Listen, I've never seen The Boss Baby. I watched a trailer, once. And the unexplained questions its premise posed in my mind continue to haunt me to this day.

Where to begin. My one top concern regarding the inexplicable rules of this animated world is: Who dresses the Boss Baby in his tiny tailored suit? Is it his parents? If so, why? Should we call child services on them? Or, if it's not them, then that means it must be the Boss Baby who dresses himself in an Armani Winter Collection suit every day of his life -- but how!? How would his fat, fumbling little baby fingers be able to nimbly (and expertly, might I add) tie that fancy ass tie? Who even paid for the suit? Why do his parents not question the fact that their baby is clearly a goddamn freak of nature and/or genius?

We demand answers, Alec Baldwin.

9. The fact that wondering if the First Lady of the United States uses a body double is a valid question

Whether or not she actually doesuse a body double is beside the point. The true strangeness of this is that we all kinda expect 2017 to pull some truly insane stuff like this on us.

10. Accidentally leaving random stuff in the fridge

Admit it: We all do this. If you haven't accidentally left something weird in your fridge, you are lying to yourself. Whether it's the remote, your hat, toothbrush, cellphone -- there is no end to the amount of batshit things that have no business in the fridge, but that find their way in there anyway because you're not an adult. It's the sheer commonality of this experience that just makes it very... odd.

11. The disgusting satisfaction of popping a pimple

You don't wanna click on the damn video. You saw the thumbnail, with its festering, yellowing boil of skin juice just bursting against the walls of its human skin cage. You also saw your friends commenting on the video with things like "OH MY GOD DO NOT WATCH-- NOT SUITABLE FOR LIFE." ...Yet you do it anyway.

SEE ALSO: 'Stranger Things' reveals intriguing episode titles, including a gaming deep cut

You want -- no, you need-- to see that pus spew outta that goddamn pimple like it's nature's most vile Mt. Vesuvius. Why? You do not know. It is not a phenomenon you can explain. But who are you to deny yourself these small, strange delights of our repulsive world?

12. The polar bear from Lost

It's never addressed. People have literally written books on the lore of Lost, and I dare any of them to have a reasonable explanation for what the fuck that bear was doing on that goddamn island.

13. Why the hell does the pharmacy need an hour to count 30 goddamn pills?

We understand that working at a pharmacy must have complexities that we mere civilians do not know about. But why, in god's name, would it take anywhere from fifteen minutes to three goddamn hoursto put my dumb little medicine pills into their dumb little child-locked bottle? It's the kind of inexplicable that we've accepted as just part of life. But we shouldn't.

14. All those people in your life who ghosted you IRL, but are somehow still alive enough to post on Instagram

You've been ghosted. Your date or FWB or Tinder flirt or person you've had a *thing*with must presumably be dead -- that is the only reasonable explanation for why they can't answer your text messages anymore. Yet, eerily, you still catch them posting on social media. Like, all the time. In fact, they're even liking YOUR stuff on social media ...?

The spookiness (and psychology) of this phantom lover perplexes us all -- way more than the question of whether or not #Brab will return from the dead in Stranger Things Season 2.

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Topics Stranger Things